You might consider reaching out to a man name Vrenille. He's very knowledgeable on the subject. Though, I will state upfront, I believe he has no experience at all when it comes to women.
[Kim isn't...actually sure if that matters but it might.]
There is also a club in the Down called The Crucible that caters specifically to that sort of play. The owners are Grayson Frost and Vanessa Ives. I think it's likely they'd be willing to speak with you.
That's perfectly all right, although the 'heads up' is appreciated.
[He sees the sense in Kim's advice, but not knowing any of the people he mentions well does make him a little leery. From what he's read, trust is an enormous piece of any BDSM practice, and while he can afford people the benefit of the doubt readily enough, entrusting strangers with something personal and potentially vulnerable is a different matter.
Still, it's helpful information, and there's no reason he can't simply make an effort to get to know any of these people before asking them anything.]
I'm not sure if this is the correct way to put this given the context, but would you consider Vrenille, Mr. Frost, and Ms. Ives to have professional and respectful attitudes towards their practices?
I have only interacted with Ms Ives socially, but she seemed very polite. Frost can be somewhat mercurial socially, I've found, but I have no doubt that were he approached in a professional sense that he would behave as such.
Vrenille is quite serious about the subject and takes interest in helping others to learn how to do such things properly. (He is also my contract partner, which may either prove that I have a bias or demonstrate my high level of trust in him. I have always found him both helpful and respectful when I have had questions.)
I see. [Does Vrenille being contracted add a delicate social dimension to this that he isn't aware of, but that he should still be trying to observe? He has no idea. He'll be relieved once he's familiar enough with all of this that concerns like this aren't something he has no answers for.
All he can do is ask, really.] I'm not sure how to ask this, truthfully, so I hope you'll forgive me for being abrupt: Am I right in thinking that, as you've put your contracted partner's name forward freely, there wouldn't be a disrespectful element to you if I did seek his assistance? [Awkward. So awkward right now, but it needed to be brought up.]
You are correct, yes. I'm not his only partner in any sense of the word and while I'm very fond of him, I have no feelings for him that lend themselves to possessiveness. You're more than welcome to consult with him if you choose to.
He is unfortunately currently somewhat unavailable, so if you reach out soon and don't hear an answer from him, he's not rebuffing you.
[Kim WILL explain the kinds of comas that some people tend to slip into here in Duplicity if necessary. But he isn't offering that information right away.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Kim isn't...actually sure if that matters but it might.]
There is also a club in the Down called The Crucible that caters specifically to that sort of play. The owners are Grayson Frost and Vanessa Ives. I think it's likely they'd be willing to speak with you.
no subject
[He sees the sense in Kim's advice, but not knowing any of the people he mentions well does make him a little leery. From what he's read, trust is an enormous piece of any BDSM practice, and while he can afford people the benefit of the doubt readily enough, entrusting strangers with something personal and potentially vulnerable is a different matter.
Still, it's helpful information, and there's no reason he can't simply make an effort to get to know any of these people before asking them anything.]
I'm not sure if this is the correct way to put this given the context, but would you consider Vrenille, Mr. Frost, and Ms. Ives to have professional and respectful attitudes towards their practices?
no subject
Frost can be somewhat mercurial socially, I've found, but I have no doubt that were he approached in a professional sense that he would behave as such.
Vrenille is quite serious about the subject and takes interest in helping others to learn how to do such things properly.
(He is also my contract partner, which may either prove that I have a bias or demonstrate my high level of trust in him. I have always found him both helpful and respectful when I have had questions.)
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All he can do is ask, really.] I'm not sure how to ask this, truthfully, so I hope you'll forgive me for being abrupt: Am I right in thinking that, as you've put your contracted partner's name forward freely, there wouldn't be a disrespectful element to you if I did seek his assistance? [Awkward. So awkward right now, but it needed to be brought up.]
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I'm not his only partner in any sense of the word and while I'm very fond of him, I have no feelings for him that lend themselves to possessiveness.
You're more than welcome to consult with him if you choose to.
He is unfortunately currently somewhat unavailable, so if you reach out soon and don't hear an answer from him, he's not rebuffing you.
[Kim WILL explain the kinds of comas that some people tend to slip into here in Duplicity if necessary. But he isn't offering that information right away.]
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Oh? Is there a certain time I should hold off until contacting him?
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He's indisposed.
Perhaps I should simply let you know when that changes.
Or you can send a message whenever you'd like. He'll respond, I'm sure, when he's able to.
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Thank you, Kim. The assistance is truly appreciated.